I am beginning to think I will never be just happy. I always have this sadness that lingers. It grips me in a way I cannot shake off. There are days I feel completely hollow. Even when I feel its gone, I know it will be back. I think about a lot of things. I question the ever so cliche "why me?". I am really trying to come to terms and accept that this is just me (now). Maybe if I do, I will be ok.
I have always had this horrible feeling I won't live past 35...Sometimes it terrifies me. Right now, I don't care if I do. Maybe the hurt will cease then.
