Congratulations

Hollow. Cracked. Loathsome.

28 May 2010

I am beginning to think I will never be just happy. I always have this sadness that lingers. It grips me in a way I cannot shake off. There are days I feel completely hollow. Even when I feel its gone, I know it will be back. I think about a lot of things. I question the ever so cliche "why me?". I am really trying to come to terms and accept that this is just me (now). Maybe if I do, I will be ok.

I have always had this horrible feeling I won't live past 35...Sometimes it terrifies me. Right now, I don't care if I do. Maybe the hurt will cease then.

I fucked up

I messed up. Real bad. Where is the hard re-boot button?

Wait. No I didn't. I made a choice. A choice I believed was right. Why should I regret that choice because at this moment in time I feel like I am in the dumps?

There are no right or wrong answers. Just consequences that lead to more decisions that lead to more consequences.

I am speaking in riddles and I know years from now, I won't know what the hell I was talking about.